The Fortune Teller | Well That's a Fine How Do You Do / The Fortune Teller | Well That's a Fine How Do You Do

The Fortune Teller


We shook hands. he introduced himself. then invited me to sit down and make myself comfortable. I had never been to the fortune teller. I was given the gift of a visit by my friend Ann who told me the guy was incredible. “You’ve got to go, he will freak you out. make sure you bring a tape recorder, he talks fast and gives you lots of information to digest.”

I’ll bet. I thought.

An estimated 15 percent of Americans have visited a psychic for advice. The Intuitive profession is on the rise following the economic downturn.

When the talk rolls around to Psychics and Mystics and Gypsy Women and those other seeyers and soothsayers who claim to be able to see the future? I am an admitted skeptic.

I’ve seen the neon signs. have your future read. palm reader, tarot cards. look into the beyond. I believe that these people are scam artists. taking the money of people who are weak minded. the gullible who believe in this type of stuff. the mentally unstable, The I just know there is someone out there who can help me? who can contact the dead. Maybe tell me how my Dad is doing? or my Mom? What about my dog Mick who died? is he pissed that we buried him in the backyard and then moved out of our house four years later?

There are people who have suffered traumatic life events and haven’t been able to figure it out. what am I suppose to do now? who’s going to show me the way? most of us are capable of finding our own ways. plotting our own courses. we don’t need some woman with a crystal ball or man in a turban with a pendant of an eye hanging from his neck who tells us what’s going to happen? Your Uncle wants to speak to you. Wait just a second? My Uncle? What? He barely said three words to me the whole time he was alive? bunch of phony baloney.

Until I met Donny When?

I was a little surprised. given his name I just assumed he was Asian. Donny When? sounded Asian to me. so I was surprised when I walked into his office and found a man about 5′ 7″with a 1960’s Beatles Haircut dressed in a oxford shirt and dress pants. Donny took a seat behind his desk. he told me that the length of my visit was an hour long. If I wanted to tape my visit? I could. I turned on my mini tape recorder, I had brought at my friends recommendation.

Donny explained to me that he didn’t consult a crystal ball.

He was a Voice Natural Direct Sensitive in Voice Recognition, Telepathy and Precognition. My session would include past, present and future events. The reading I was about to get was based on voice recognition. that he would be able to answer my questions about personal relationships, careers, buying or selling a house, lost items, jobs, affairs of the heart, financial outlook, or any question I may have. he would do so just by hearing the sound of my voice.

He told me that he has always had this ability, that it is always on. and that he can’t turn it off. that when he hears people talk, he see’s pictures and words that tell him not only who the people are, but what’s going on in their lives.

Donny asked me if I was ready? I nodded I was. “let’s begin then.” he didn’t close his eyes and put his hand to his temple and exhibit the signs of a man going into some kind of trance. he simply asked me to tell him a little about myself. what was it that brought me here? all I could think of was, C’mon Pal? you mean? you don’t know why I’m here? I gave him a brief explanation. I kept it short and sweet. I did talk with him on the telephone briefly prior to our visit, he instructed me to compile a list of questions I wanted to ask him and receive information on.

I had lost my brother to a drug overdose a few years prior. I asked, “I want to know more about my Brother’s death?” Donny told me that my brother’s death was an accident. that no one else had a hand in it. he didn’t kill himself intentionally. And that he didn’t want to die. that I shouldn’t think anything else. then, he said something strange. Donny told me that my brother was ok. that he doesn’t want me or my sister to worry about him anymore. he is at peace. that he misses us, wants us to go on with our lives and not to worry about him. 3 years had passed since his death, it was still hard to hear someone talk about him. after a moment I composed myself. looked at Donny and asked him. “How did you know I had a sister?”

I never mentioned to him that I did.

Perhaps? these guys do a little research prior to your visit? to drop information on you that would make you buy into what they were selling? smiling at me. I don’t want you to worry about your sister. she is going to be fine. you don’t need to worry about her. despite her problems. she would be fine and not require any assistance from you. she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself physically and financially. you need to focus on you. stop all your worrying. wait a second? the information was coming at me too fast. my sister would be ok? a relief to be sure, if? that is, I bought into all this bunk.

“What else do you want to ask me?” I wanted him to tell me something that would prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that he did have some sort of power to see things.

“Donny? can you tell me what I’m thinking?” he said he didn’t work like that. that when the person he talks to speaks? he can see images and hears words that inform him about that person.

OK then? I asked one of the questions that all of us want to know. “Will I find love?” Donny looked back across the desk at me and told me. “Yes, you will, but before you find that love? you need to be receptive to it. to be open to it. otherwise it could present you with problems.” “Who’s not receptive to love or being in love?” I asked.

“What I mean is? that if you aren’t honest with women? you will encounter difficulties.” he responded.

“Ok, what if? I just got out of a long term relationship. what if I’m not looking to settle down yet? what’s wrong with looking for a little companionship?” “It’s understandable if you don’t want to get into anything long term after your divorce. if you’ll remember, part of the problem with your former wife was that you both stopped being honest with each other. it’s simple really, don’t repeat the mistake is all I’m saying.”

“I don’t recall telling you I was married?” Donny looked at me smiled and shrugged.

My mind raced, ok, maybe he has some database that he checks to get information on people. family history, criminal history. then he looks it over prior to your visit and drops the hook with the bait on you. so? he knew I had a sister. so? he knew I was divorced. I just need to ask more specific questions.

“Will I ever be wealthy?”

Donny said “Usually people ask me that first. then they want to know about finding love. and lastly their loved ones. I applaud you for not asking me that question first. it speaks to your character. I know for you, the most important things in your life are the people you love. while that will sometimes get you into trouble, if you stick to these beliefs you will have a great life. if you don’t? expect complications. as for your wealth? it can be defined in many ways.”

“Ok, Ok I got it. Donny? will I make a lot of money? will I make a whole lot of money? will I ever need to worry about my finances again?”

He sat back in his chair. I leaned forward. “Yes.” he said.

I clapped my hands together. “Wait? Yes what? Yes, I will make a lot of money? or Yes, I will need to worry about my finances?” I asked. “Yes you will make a lot of money. but not in the way you expect. your wealth will come to you in a most unexpected way. it will be of your own making. you won’t marry into it. you won’t hit the lottery, you won’t fall into a large inheritance. you will earn it.”

“How?!? How does it happen? what do I do to get started?” I pleaded. “That is something you will have to find out yourself. I don’t operate like that. I don’t have winning lottery numbers to give you. I don’t give out advice on how to make money. all I can tell you is that you will make a lot of money. lots of it as a matter of fact.” “Can you see when?” “No I can’t.”

“Tell me more about finding Love.”

The hour went by fast. I’m glad I taped the appointment. there would be much to learn from replaying it.

I thanked Donny for his time, we shook hands and I left.

Walking to my car, I wondered. can this guy be on the level? no way this guy or anyone else can predict the future. can they? just because something hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean that it won’t? maybe it will happen tomorrow, or the next day or the next? still? is that anyway to go through your life? wondering when the Fortune tellers predictions would come through? What role if any does fate play into all of this? how did he know so many details of my life? was I wrong all along?

I went home and replayed the recording of my hour with Donny When.

I met my friend Ann who paid for my visit for dinner that evening. “So?” she asked me excitedly? “what did he tell you?”

I smiled at her. “Are you sure you didn’t tell Donny anything about me when you set up my visit?”

“No, why? What did he say?” she asked,

“Well? it was an interesting hour. he told me my brother’s overdose was an accident, that he didn’t mean to kill himself. he told me that my parents and my old dog were fine. he told me that I would make a lot of money in my life. and he told me about you.”

“What?!?” she said. “He told me about you. how you feel about me.” I told her. she looked down and got quiet. softly she asked, “what did he say about me?” “You mean about us…don’t you? Well? he told me that the reason that you wanted me to go see him so badly was because you had feelings for me.” “No he didn’t.” she said.

“Ann? Is there something you’d like to tell me?

She looked at me. looked away, then back. “I love you.”

I know, Donny told me. why didn’t you say anything? I asked.

“I was afraid if I did and you didn’t feel the same then this would be….”

“Over?” I finished.

“Yes, I don’t want to lose you. you’re the best friend I have. I don’t want to….”

“…Ann you’re not going to lose me. why didn’t you tell me?” I took her hand in mine. You know I’ve been reluctant to get into anything serious with a woman? after my marriage ended. I didn’t know what I wanted. I told you I dated a lot. when I look back at it? I wanted to punish the women I dated, make them hurt. just like I’d been hurt. I broke off every relationship I had badly. if they said something, or did something I didn’t like? Get Lost. I don’t need you. I was an asshole. I can’t change who I was. Some of the relationships I had? were great for a while. All I wanted was to get laid and have some fun. having a woman in my life was the farthest thing from my mind. that was then. I don’t feel like that anymore. I don’t have a crystal ball. can’t see into the future like Donny When claims to. I know when I’m with you…I feel good. I know…I like spending time with you. I know, I love you too. I’m so sorry if I scared you into not being able to share your feelings with me.”

“What else did he tell you?”

“He told me that you wanted to take me home, tear off my clothes and throw me on the bed.” I told her.

“No he didn’t!”

“No. No he didn’t. he told me the secret to love was to be honest. not to fall into the same habits. he also told me that you had an interesting collection of lingerie. and would like to model some of it for me.”

She laughed, “perhaps? let’s see how the rest of the night goes first. ok?”

“Do you really think I’m like a metronome on a piano? That my moods swing either this way or that way. that if I could just find a middle ground.”

“Shut up and kiss me.” she said. So? I did.

Thank You Donny.

Written by rthogan


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